It is confession time. I did not do great at the sit on the couch list.
I read in the books that I planned on, but did not finish anything. I listened to some podcasts but am not up to date. I took pictures but am no more versed on photography than I was pre-couch. I did organize my iCal a bit and my dad properly backed up my oh-so-important computer. I laid out a bit to try and cure my inside the house blues. Meh.. I don’t feel like going over all of the quasi-successes and blatant failures. Although I did not adhere to the list, I know that the what ended up being 10 days, were not wasted.
The greatest conclusion that I came to is that I can easily work myself up over not knowing what the fall holds for me. After dwelling on that for a couple of days I realized the nobody knows what the fall holds for them. Although there may be plans, nobody really knows what God is going to do, what consequences of their sin will be, or how consequences of other’s sin will affect them. “Knowing” what is coming is a false sense of security and an allusion of control that we don’t actually have. Even in the falsity and allusion however, we find comfort. So now, I am having to face my lack of control and security. Although it is far from comfortable in the normal way that I seek comfort, it is in fact comforting to know that I am being honest with myself about not having control, about having fears, and really learning to trust God with my life. I am trusting that HIS will is done, not my own.
Even as far as the days post-surgery went… I had plans for them, but God had others. I am thankful that his will trumps mine… and praying that I always allow that to be the case.
Here are some websites to check out if you are looking to give financially or to serve. Each of them I either know the people personally or they are friends of close friends.